


Rookies

by bladespark



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, F/F, First Time, Romance, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 02:50:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19880398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladespark/pseuds/bladespark
Summary: Rainbow Dash really likes kissing Applejack. When things go a little bit beyond kissing, though, the relationship between the two mares gets difficult in all kinds of ways. But Applejack knows that marefriends talk to each other, and she's sure that somehow everything will work out in the end.





	Rookies

Rainbow Dash had discovered that she really liked kissing Applejack.

It was a pretty recent discovery—their first kiss had only been a month or so ago, after their second date. It had been short, but very sweet. Later they'd gotten longer and more intense, but short or long, Rainbow Dash liked everything about kissing Applejack.

The soft, sweet moment their lips met, the daring heat of tongues darting forward, the faint and lingering taste of apples that was always on AJ's lips—all of that was amazing. The best and most amazing thing, though, was how warm she felt—how close and cared for—with each kiss. Having Applejack as her marefriend was turning out to be way more awesome than she could have imagined.

Rainbow pulled back slowly from the kiss and opened her eyes to see Applejack smiling at her—that funny, slightly off-center smile that was one of the million things that Rainbow Dash liked about her.

"Come on, Sugarcube. If we stand on the front porch all night, Granny'll come out with the broom, bellyachin' about us bein' indecent in public. Let's go on up to my room an' have some privacy."

"Hah! Yeah, I'd rather not have an audience."

Applejack chuckled. "An' here I thought you loved playin' for a crowd!"

Rainbow snorted with stifled laughter. "Well..." she pretended to think about it, "not for this kind of thing, nah. Come on," she finished, tipping her head towards the door.

Applejack smiled and led the way through the farmhouse, into her bedroom. No sooner was the door shut than the pair drew together again, like winds into a depression, muzzles meeting in a kiss even more frantically heated than the one before.

Tongues twisted together again, and bodies pressed close. Rainbow raised a hoof to stroke Applejack's mane, and Applejack suddenly broke from the kiss to nuzzle along Rainbow's cheek and nip at her ear lightly. Rainbow let out a tiny, soft gasp that would have embarrassed her in front of any other pony, and buried her nose in the crook of Applejack's neck. She took a deep breath, filling her nose with the warm, earthy scent of earth under the summer sun. She lapped at the side of Applejack's neck, tasting the salt-sweetness of her hard work while she continued to pay attention to Rainbow's ear. Rainbow nipped lightly at Applejack's shoulder, and was momentarily satisfied by the quiet sound of a sharply in-drawn breath. They broke apart again, but only so Applejack could pull Rainbow down into her bed, their legs tangling together and hooves clasped around each other.

Rainbow Dash's heart was pounding like she'd just flown an hour-long show, except that the way her blood sang in her veins was more electric than the thrill of applause. Soft gasps and low sounds of pleasure floated out the open window, which let in a cool evening breeze across the two heated ponies.

Applejack's forehooves wrapped around her as she gave Rainbow another fervent kiss. They found their way under her wings, to the warm, sensitive skin there, and Rainbow gasped softly as she eagerly returned the caress. She ran her hooves down Applejack's back, savoring the feel of the sleek hide under her frogs before daring to let her hooves dip down and rub over the red apples on her thighs.

That got a muffled little sound of pleasure from the farm mare, who pressed even closer into their embrace. Rainbow broke off the kiss, breathing fast, her wings half unfolded as her blood heated. Applejack bit her ear again, harder this time, and her own hooves went to Rainbow's thighs, cupping her cutie marks on either side and pulling her hips close. With their legs tangled together, Rainbow's stifle was pressed between Applejack's legs, and she could feel the heat there. It filled her with a strange mixture of excitement and growing nerves.

Applejack pressed her hips even closer, starting to grind against Rainbow's leg. Suddenly, along with the heat, Rainbow could feel a trace of dampness through her coat. She shivered, her ears flicking, a tremor going through her wings. Applejack's muzzle was pressed against her shoulder, her eyes closed tightly. Rainbow looked at her, fear and desire warring across her face. Finally, she bent her head to nibble at Applejack's ear. Applejack let out a full-throated moan and ground hard against Dash's leg.

Then Applejack shifted back a bare inch or so, and slid one hoof from Rainbow's cutie mark around to the inside of her thigh. Rainbow froze, her heart pounding. Her wings folded tightly and her ears went flat back to her head, but Applejack still had her eyes closed, oblivious. She continued to trace her hoof along a line that ended between Rainbow's legs, rubbing there lightly.

Rainbow let out a little whimper as a bolt of pure, physical pleasure went through her at the touch. Her wings began to tremble violently and suddenly she tore herself from Applejack's arms and rolled off the bed.

Applejack blinked at her. "Rainbow? What in tarnation...?"

Rainbow stood in the center of the room, her chest heaving. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She looked around frantically, her body shivering and her wings twitching. Her eyes fell on the open window and she tensed. "I'm sorry," she repeated, then her wings snapped open and in a single bound, she was out the window and gone into the night.

****

Applejack whistled as if nothing was wrong as she trotted into Sugarcube Corner. The smell of sweet baking floated on the air, mingled with the aromatic scents of tea and coffee. It was morning, and the bakery was filled with ponies enjoying a drink or a pastry or two before starting the day's work.

The farm pony had already finished her first round of morning chores, of course, so she felt justified in taking a small break.

"Hey there Pinkie," she called out as she came in, "You seen Rainbow Dash today?"

"Nah," said the pink pony as she tossed donuts over her shoulder and into a box she couldn't see, "She hasn't been in yet. She doesn't do mornings," Pinkie flashed a grin at Applejack, "you know."

"Ah figured it might be late enough... but yeah, I guess I ain't surprised."

"Give it a few hours; she'll turn up. Rainbow's a pony who loooves her donuts!" She punctuated her answer by throwing in two donuts at once and letting out a short, sharp giggle.

"Applejack chuckled. "Yeah, I'll drop in again later. If you see her, tell her I was lookin' for her. I'd like to talk about somethin', but it ain't anythin' serious, okay?"

"Got it," said Pinkie with a stern face and a swift salute. Applejack couldn't help but smile at her friend, but as she turned to go her expression faded into something more serious.

She trotted out of the bakery with a tiny sigh and turned back towards Sweet Apple Acres. She had no idea what had happened last night, and she wanted to find out. She'd obviously upset Rainbow Dash, but she didn't know exactly what she'd done. Maybe she'd just pushed a little too far, too fast. That seemed likely, but maybe it was something else completely. Maybe something small, but... the way the high-strung pegasus had high-tailed it out of her bed made Applejack worried that it might be something big.

Still, she was probably borrowing trouble, so she immersed herself in her work and soon managed to put the incident out of her mind.

****

Applejack paused to wipe the sweat from under her forelock. It was spring, and the weather today had turned especially warm. She'd been trotting, too, so she'd started to work up a bit of a sweat, but she continued on after only the briefest of pauses.

She hadn't seen Rainbow Dash in two days now, and she was starting to worry a little bit. They'd gone longer than that without speaking since they'd started dating, but the way Rainbow had run off the other night was really starting to gnaw at Applejack. So, she was checking all of Rainbow's favorite napping spots. She'd done a circuit of the farm first—Rainbow napped there more often than anywhere else—but there had been no sign of the mare.

Now she was threading her way through the whole of Ponyville and a lot of the countryside around it, checking every likely tree branch and wishing she could peek at the tops of the low-lying clouds. There weren't many, but she had no way to know if Rainbow was on one of the lonesome puffs that were scattered across the sky.

With a sigh, she checked yet another branch that looked like the kind of spot Rainbow'd go for, but there was still no sign of her. Eventually, she had to finish her round. The sun was no longer high overhead, and she'd wasted way too much of her working day. "I wish I knew whether you're just being lazy up on a cloud somewhere, or if you're really avoidin' me," she muttered at the empty sky as she walked through the gates of Sweet Apple Acres. Then she heaved a long sigh, straightened her hat, and got back to work.

****

"Heya, Twi. You seen Rainbow Dash around?" Applejack stood just inside the door of the new Crystal Library. Though, maybe at some point she should stop thinking of it as ‘new'; it'd been here for a couple of years now, after all. Then again, the old library tree had stood for decades, so Twilight's castle was still very new by comparison.

"Not since the last Daring Do book came out," answered Twilight with a smile, looking up from the book she'd been reading.

"Heh." Applejack couldn't help but smile at that. "There another one comin' out soon, by any chance?"

"Not until next year."

"Shucks. Well, if you see her, let her know I'm lookin' fer her, okay?"

Twilight tilted her head slightly, a questioning look on her face, but only said, "Sure thing," in reply.

Applejack's smile grew a big strained. "Thanks, Twi. I... it ain't nothin' serious, but I'm startin' to think that she's a mite upset at me, an' I'd like to talk it out. She ain't been around much this week, though, so I ain't had the chance. That's all."

Twilight nodded. "I'll let her know that too."

Applejack nodded absently and murmured her thanks as she turned to trot back out into the sunshine.

****

"I'm really sorry." Fluttershy gave Applejack an apologetic look as she filled the salad bowl with sliced carrots.

"She _cancelled_ her appointment?" Applejack tried not to sound angry and frustrated, but she was finding it difficult.

Fluttershy nodded. "It was just a regular checkup; I know she wouldn't have canceled if Tank were actually sick. The note said she was too busy and she'd reschedule later."

Applejack heaved a sigh. "This is gettin' downright ridiculous."

"I'm sorry," said Fluttershy again.

"It ain't your fault, sugarcube. ‘S'likely mine, but that mare..." she scowled. As far as she could tell, Rainbow Dash hadn't even touched hoof to ground in days. At this point there was no question that she was avoiding Applejack. The only question now was what on earth could Applejack do about it? Well, if Rainbow wasn't going to come to her, she'd have to come to Rainbow. The only question was, how?

As she walked slowly home from Fluttershy's cottage, mulling the situation over, a scrap of memory laid itself out in front of her. With her mouth set in a line of satisfied determination, she took a turn toward Ponyville.

****

Applejack huffed and Applejack puffed. How did Pinkie Pie make this look so easy? Applejack was in good shape, but it was taking some _work_ to keep the pedalcopter aloft. Rainbow Dash's cloud house loomed ahead of her, and she pedaled a little bit faster. It was time to sort this nonsense out. She pedaled her way right up to the front door and managed, on the second try, to suddenly pull the copter up short so that momentum swung the seat forward like a pendulum under the rotors. She got just close enough to knock hastily on the door before swinging away again, and she didn't have to find out what happened if the 'copter's blades hit a cloud house.

A few moments later, the door swung open. "Hiya, what can I—" Rainbow Dash halted and stared at Applejack, going from cheerful enthusiasm to anxious embarrassment in a half-second flat. "Oh... uhm, Applejack. I wasn't expecting you."

"Ah figured as much." Applejack gave her a stern look, but the effect was ruined by the furious pedaling. "Now look here, Rainbow Dash," she said before she had to pause for breath, "I ain't stupid, I know you been avoidin' me." Huff, "An' if yer fixin to break up with me," puff, "I ain't gonna say ya can't." Huff, puff, "But if yer wantin' us two t' stay marefriends, then ya gotta talk to me." Puff, puff, "Marefriends talk t' each other, that's—" puff, huff "—part a' bein' marefriends."

There was a longer pause while Applejack took a few deep breaths, and her scowl deepened. "Now I'm gonna go land this consarned contraption in the park over yonder, an' if you want to break up, then you can jus' stay up here an I'll know not t' bother ya again. But if you want to stay marefriends, you gotta come down an' talk to me."

She didn't wait for a reply, she just stopped pedaling and let the machine sink, guiding it down to land in the park as she'd promised. She climbed off of it and flopped onto the grass on her back, watching the sky as she caught her breath. Rainbow had parked her cloud home very high; it was a tiny puff of white at this distance, so small that Rainbow herself would be no more than a speck.

For a long time no speck appeared, and Applejack, no longer panting, heaved a deep sigh. A lead weight seemed to settle softly on her chest. It was over, then.

But suddenly one little fleck of blue separated from the white puff above and streaked down, leading a rainbow contrail. She descended fast, only flaring her wings to slow at the last moment, and landed next to Applejack with a graceless thud and none of her usual precise athleticism.

"Okay, I'm here. We can talk."

Applejack sat up and smiled as the weight on her heart eased. "Ah know whatever's goin' on must be bein' rough on you, sweetheart, but I'm mighty glad you ain't dumpin' me. I'd miss you more'n'a little."

"Heh." Rainbow shuffled a bit. "Yeah. I'd miss you too. I have missed you. I just... I don't know. I don't know how to say it. I'm not good with words like Twilight, or Rarity. Or you. You know how to say stuff way better than I do. It's just, the other night, you... I..."

"I went too far?"

"I guess." Rainbow looked away, then sighed and plopped her rump on the ground. "It was... I wasn't ready for... that."

"Yer someone who wants to wait for sex, is that what you're gettin' at?"

Rainbow hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah."

"That ain't nothin' t' be ashamed of. An' I'm sorry for pushin' you like that without askin' first."

"It's okay. I didn't say to stop. I... I know I should have."

"Now, don't you go puttin’ this all on yourself like that! I guess there's more'n enough blame to go around. Why don't we jus' both say we're sorry an' let it go?"

"Yeah... yeah, that seems like a good idea. I'm sorry."

"An' I'm sorry too." Applejack scooted herself over to Rainbow Dash and gave her a hug. Rainbow hugged her back without hesitation. "I won't push ya again, I promise."

Rainbow Dash relaxed a little bit, leaning into Applejack's hug. "Thanks."

****

"That was a heck of a hayburger," Rainbow Dash laughed as she trotted out of the restaurant with Applejack at her side. She'd been nervous as anything when she'd turned up for their date this evening, but by the time their food had arrived they'd both already slipped back into their comfortable camaraderie.

"That it was. If'n you want to finish that off right, though, Granny baked an apple pie, an' I'm pretty sure there's about half of it left. How's dessert at my place sound?"

"Sounds great," said Rainbow with a smile, though somewhere deep inside her a nervous butterfly was starting to stretch its wings. The last time she'd stayed late at Applejack's, it had ended with her escaping out a window. But AJ had promised to not push things, so everything would be just fine, right?

Granny Smith made the best apple pie in the world, as far as Dash was concerned, and she managed to relax and enjoy her dessert in the cozy kitchen of the Apple farmhouse. Afterwards, she also enjoyed the apple-flavored kiss that Applejack pressed on her. The butterflies did another lap again, but Applejack only kissed her; she didn't do anything else.

Rainbow Dash kissed her back, and wrapped her hooves around Applejack to pull her close. The kiss was good, and when they broke apart her heart was pounding again. She remembered the feel of Applejack's teeth on her ear, the scent of her hide, and the way their bodies had fit together. She found herself wishing Applejack would do that again. Not the last bit—the touching that had sent her out the window—but the rest of it. That had been great. But Applejack only smiled and pulled back from the embrace.

Rainbow Dash flicked her ear. She considered starting to nibble on Applejack's ear herself, or maybe burying her nose in the side of Applejack's neck again, but it seemed... weird to just do something like that out of the blue, and she couldn't figure out how to make it not-weird. And would Applejack take it wrong if she did? Would she get worked up and forget, and touch her the wrong way again? Or maybe she'd get upset that she couldn't?

"Tenth-bit fer your thoughts, sugarcube?"

Rainbow scuffed a hoof across the worn floorboards. "Eh. Nothing, really."

"No? Ya looked mighty serious jus' now."

Rainbow sighed a little. "Do you think you're... uh... I dunno."

Applejack raised one eyebrow in silent question.

Rainbow smiled a little at the familiar expression. "Just a dumb thought. Stallions get all... like, blue balls when they're interested in a mare but can't do anything about it. Are you going to get... I dunno, frustrated or something, because I don't want to?"

"Ah, well. It prob'ly ain't the same, but I got a couple'a toys that'll get me through at need. So I ain't gonna keel over from frustration or anythin' like that."

"Oh geez." Rainbow felt her cheeks heating. "Toys?"

"Yup." Applejack was grinning just a little bit too much, and Rainbow could feel her blush getting worse.

"I can't picture you using, uhm..." Rainbow broke off, because no, she _could_ picture it all too well.

"Cause I'm a farm pony and they're all sophisticated stuff that Rarity'd have, is that it?" Applejack was still grinning.

"I guess."

Applejack chuckled. "I figure it's jus' practical. I ain't dated _that_ much, never got too far with a stallion, an' yer the first mare that really caught my eye. So I take care of myself. Maybe y'oughta try it sometime—gettin' in touch with yer own body's good for ya."

"Oh geez," Rainbow repeated herself, feeling ready to sink right through the floor in embarrassment.

"You asked, sugarcube." Applejack was _still_ grinning.

"Hah." Rainbow managed a smile. "I did, yeah. I guess I don't have to worry, then."

"Nope! But those can't hold you or kiss you, so if'n you don't mind, I'd like a little bit more of both before you head home."

Rainbow's smile relaxed, "Yeah, okay." She stepped close again for another awesome kiss, but in the back of her mind, her imagination was still busy. Her blush didn't go away until long after she'd returned to her cloud home.

****

"You're going down!" Rainbow Dash grinned at Applejack from a hoofswidth away, sweat pouring down her forehead.

"No I ain't!" Applejack grinned back as she strained, her hoof locked with Rainbow's. Slowly, bit by bit, Rainbow's hoof was forced back. Rainbow gritted her teeth and pushed harder, but she was no match for Applejack's work-hardened strength. Suddenly she reached the point of no return and Applejack slammed her hoof to the table. "Ha! See?"

Rainbow stuck her tongue out at her marefriend. "Best two out of three?"

"I'll wrassle ya again, but first I want my prize for winnin’ this round." Applejack's grin had turned teasing.

Rainbow tilted her head, "I don't remember saying anything about a prize."

"I think I'm entitled to one. A kiss'd be about right, I reckon."

Rainbow laughed and leaned in to give Applejack her winnings. She'd meant it to be a brief kiss, but Applejack kept her grip on Rainbow's hoof, encouraging her to stay close, and pressed her tongue between Rainbow's lips. Rainbow parted them willingly, meeting Applejack's tongue with her own. Her blood was racing and her nerves electrified as she kissed deeply, and she felt a faint twinge of disappointment when Applejack pulled back.

"Alrighty then, let's see how many more times I can put yer hoof down flat."

"Ha! You wish. I'm going to win this one, and then maybe I'll claim a prize of my own!" Rainbow's blood was still singing as she blurted out her boast, and she had no idea what exactly she meant.

"We'll jus' see about that." Applejack helf up her hoof and Rainbow gripped it with her own, determination settling in on her face. "One..." she started, counting evenly so that they'd both know when to begin, "two... three!" She immediately pushed as hard a she could, going all out instantly. She couldn't match Applejack's stamina, but if she could get even the tiniest advantage at the beginning, she might just win.

Applejack's foreleg trembled, and suddenly Rainbow was pushing her back. "Yes!" She shouted as Applejack's hoof touched the table. "In your face! Who's the best? I'm the best!"

"I do believe we're tied, sugarcube. So I dunno about 'best'." Applejack's smile was indulgent. "So... what're you wantin' fer your prize?"

Rainbow stopped and swallowed. A sudden image, of _that_ night, the two of them tangled up on Applejack's bed, ran through her mind. They were alone, she could ask for that. Or just do it, just kiss Applejack and push her down to the floor and wrap her hooves around her, just feel that heat again.

"Uh..."

Applejack's smile was getting a little puzzled and her eyebrow was inching upwards. Rainbow became suddenly aware of how long she'd just hesitated.

"Uh, yeah," said Rainbow, feeling suddenly like a total coward, "I'll take a kiss of my own now." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to Applejack's, but somehow it wasn't as sweet as the last one.

****

Spring was turning towards summer, and only a soft breeze kept Applejack from being miserably hot as she finished heaving hay bales from the cart. "That's all of 'em," she called out when the final bale was out.

"'Nother load?" said Big Macintosh laconically.

"Nah. Weather's good for the rest of the week, so we can finish this lot up any time. An' you promised Granny you'd finish plowing the rows for the late veggies in the garden plot."

Her brother looked over at her. "So what're _you_ goin' to do with the rest of yer day?" His eyes flicked to where a blue-and-rainbow smudge was visible in a distant apple tree and a small, knowing smile crossed his face.

Applejack chuckled. "Oh, I reckon I kin think of somthin'. Let's go get you unhitched." Big Macintosh just smiled and started moving, pulling the cart behind him towards the barn as if it wasn't there. Applejack trotted beside him as far as the barn and helped him out of the harness. He gave her a wave and another little smile before he turned towards the garden. She turned and trotted towards the distant tree.

"Hey up there, you lazy slacker," she called out cheerfully.

Rainbow opened one eye. "Napping is good for you."

"An' you already moved half the air over Ponyville this morning gettin' the weather just so, I know," replied Applejack. "It's a nice day, jus' right fer nappin'. It's a might hot fer workin' though—I'm all over sweat. I was thinkin' of going over to the lake an goin' fer a swim. Wanna come along?"

"That sounds like fun. Sure." Rainbow dropped off the tree, landing with careless ease in a flurry of wing-beats. "I'll walk there with you," she added. She didn't walk often. She preferred to keep her hooves in the air even when with ground-bound ponies, but for Applejack, she walked. There was something nice about strolling down a dusty road side by side.

The little lake at the end of the path didn't see many ponies. It lay nestled up against one edge of the Everfree, and there were other ponds just as good for swimming closer to town. As the pair arrived, a gentle breeze sent the water rippling and the late spring sun sparkled from it in a thousand brilliant shards.

Applejack paused to take off her hat and undo her hair, then she simply waded out into the cool water.

Rainbow Dash, of course, took to the air and dove into the lake with a spectacular splash. The water showered over Applejack, soaking her completely. When Rainbow surfaced from her dive, Applejack splashed her right back, and it didn't take any more than that to start a water fight. The delighted laughter of the two mares echoed out on the afternoon air as they splashed and dunked each other.

Eventually they had enough and both simply floated, relaxing, in the water. Neither one said anything; in that moment there was nothing they needed to say.

It was Rainbow Dash who finally ended the moment, sculling her way over towards the shore with her wings and climbing out of the water. She shook herself off, then looked back at Applejack.

The farm mare was standing knee deep in the lake, and as she tossed her head, her wet mane flew around her, shedding a shower of little drops that glinted in the sunlight. Rainbow looked at her, seeing her perfect balance of strength and grace all over again. Her body was hard and strong, but soft in all the right places. Her grass-green eyes were clear and beautiful. Her sweetly-freckled face would never need one of Rarity's makeovers. Her wet mane fell around her, free from its usual ribbon, and all together she was the most beautiful thing Rainbow had ever seen.

Rainbow's mouth went dry as she took in the sight. She felt her heart start to pound and her cheeks heat in a deep blush. In that instant she wanted to dash through the shallows and jump on Applejack, to lie together heedless of the water, or to take her up to the clouds, or roll with her in the grass on the lake shore and do so much more than just kiss.

Applejack finished shaking the water from her mane and walked towards Rainbow, splashing cheerfully as she did. Rainbow licked her lips. She should at least lean in and kiss her, but she couldn't even manage that. She didn't know exactly what she wanted, and even if she had, she didn't know how to go about getting it. She felt her ears going back in shame at her cowardice and confusion. Why did this have to be so difficult and complicated? Why couldn't she be like Applejack, and be able to just _do_ what she wanted? Why did she have to be so messed up?

"Something wrong, sugarcube?" asked Applejack, and Rainbow realized she'd been standing there, beating herself up silently for too long.

She looked down at her hooves. "It's nothing."

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "It ain't?"

"Yeah! It's no big deal." Rainbow plastered a smile on her face. "Come on, I'll walk you back to the farm."

"If you say so." Applejack headed for the path home and Rainbow fell in beside her.

They walked for awhile in silence. The sun was sinking towards the horizon, casting long shadows on the ground, and a little bit of chill was seeping into the air. The day's warmth had hinted at summer, but the season hadn't actually turned yet, and the cool evening breeze promised a cold night. Applejack walked a little bit closer to Rainbow Dash, letting their shoulders and flanks touch. On other evenings like this, Rainbow had put a wing over her marefriend to keep her warm, but tonight, confusion and nerves made her jump away from the contact instead.

"Woah there. Yer jumpier than a cat in a rocking chair factory, sugarcube. You sure you don't want to tell me what's got you so twitchy?"

"Sorry." Rainbow ducked her head, embarrassed. "I don't know... It's nothing, really."

"I'm pretty sure it's somethin'."

Rainbow sighed. "I guess. I just... I don't even know."

"You said that already," said Applejack with a small smile. Then her expression turned serious. She stopped in the middle of the road and looked at Rainbow. "Look, if'n you really don't want to talk about it, I won't pry any further, but remember what I said before, about how marefriends talk to each other? I can't help but be a mite suspicious that whatever's botherin' you has to do with me. An' if that's the case, I'd like to know about it—if fer no other reason than to let you be and not bring up whatever burr is under yer saddle by accident."

"Heh. Yeah." Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. "I just... I wish I could be like you."

"Huh?"

"You're... you haven't... I mean, you said you'd never, uhm... You're not all tied up in knots about this. You're not all messed up like I am."

"Here now, sugarcube, you ain't messed up! And what 'this' are you goin' on about?"

Rainbow looked away, blushing again—why did she have to blush so easily?—and refolded her wings nervously. "Sex," she said. Applejack blinked. "You wantin' to wait until yer ready ain't messed up."

"That's not... I..." Rainbow felt her stomach twist. She really didn't want to talk about this, and yet suddenly at the same time she did. She opened her mouth and blurted, "I'm not a virgin."

"Huh?" Applejack's jaw fell open.

Rainbow Dash pressed on, almost babbling. "I'm not a virgin. I haven't been in years. I'm not waiting. I'm just screwed up about it."

Her mouth still open, Applejack gave herself a little shake and then shut it. "Nope. Ah'm still gonna insist that you ain't screwed up. Havin' had sex before ain't a bad thing."

"I... maybe it is for me. If I'd actually waited, I wouldn't be so freaked out about doing anything with you. I want to sometimes! I keep thinking... But it just... argh! It reminds me of _him_ , and I hate it. I don't want to remember any of it!"

"Oh sugarcube..." Applejack's expression softened and she put a hoof on Rainbow's shoulder. "Somepony hurt you."

"No. Yes. I don't... He... Guh, why is this so hard?" She took a deep breath. "Okay. I dated this stallion a couple of years ago. I wasn't that into him, but I thought I _should_ be. He seemed totally perfect. We had everything in common, and he was super hot, and an amazing flier, and it was just awesome. We had a really good time on our dates and everything. But I just couldn't get into it when he kissed me. I tried, I really did, and then one night he started doing more... He told me he'd be gentle, 'cause he knew it was my first time. And I just said 'okay' like an idiot, even though in my head I was all 'wait what?'" She lifted her hoof and scrubbed angrily at the tears that were suddenly gathering in her eyes.

"He did hurt you," said Applejack fiercely. "Tell me his name an I'll go kick his flank all the way to Manehattan."

"No, it wasn't like that. He _was_ gentle. He totally was. It's me that's messed up. It should have been nice, but it wasn't. It was awful. The whole time I should have been feeling all this stuff like everybody says you do during sex, but I didn't. I just kept thinking I wish he'd stop. I should have told him to stop. It was my fault he didn't. It was my fault it felt bad. I broke up with him the next morning and he was super nice about it, even. I kinda avoid him whenever I see him around. I want to forget it ever happened."

"It ain't your fault that some horny so-and-so couldn't tell the difference between a mare who was willin' and one who wasn't." Applejack's tone was still fierce. "An' I mean it about kicking his flank if you want me to."

Rainbow gave a half-hysterical little laugh. "No, it's okay. I just... I wish I was still pure."

"Oh _hell_. No, don't you go sayin' somethin' like that! Purity ain't somthin' somepony can take away from you, it's somthin' only you can give, if you want to."

"I thought I wanted to. I told him it was okay."

"I don't care one bit about that. An' if some other pony touchin' you can make you impure, I guess I am too. I fooled around a heck of a lot before gettin' with you. You gonna say I'm some kinda dirty whore 'cause of it?"

Rainbow blinked at Applejack, startled by her vehemence almost as much as by her coarse language. "No..."

"Well don't give me this pile of horseapples about you not bein' pure, then. Ain't no pony's touch that can make you anything other than what you are, sugarcube. An' what you are is wonderful."

Rainbow felt a warmth in her chest. "You really think that?"

"Yup. Damn fair certain of it."

"Heh. I'm still all messed up, though. I want sex, but I don't want it. You're so... so..." she gulped, blushing hard, and managed, "so beautiful. I look at you and want, like... I don't even know what. I want everything, it just scares me. I wish I wasn't messed up. I wish... I wish that _you'd_ been my first time instead of that stupid stallion."

"Oh sugarcube..." Applejack's eyes teared up and she suddenly hugged Rainbow Dash, wrapping her hooves around her and nuzzling against her cheek. "I hardly know what-all to say. You feelin' that way is one o' the nicest things I can think of. But I can't help but think that whatever you did with whoever else before me jus' don't count. I can't put a lot o' logic behind it, but that's how it is."

Applejack hesitated a moment before she continued, "I guess it's 'cause the thing about first times is that they're special. They're somethin' that you share with somepony that you ain't shared with anypony else. Well, if'n that's what makes a first time, I reckon that I could be yours, 'cause what happened to you before wasn't anythin' like what we've got between us now. An heck, you could be mine too, 'cause whatever foolin' around I might'a done, I ain't felt like this about anypony but you." She looked into Rainbow Dash's eyes, then kissed her gently, lingeringly.

Rainbow kissed back, feeling a hard knot of fear and discomfort begin to melt away within her. Her horrible secret was out, and suddenly it didn't seem that horrible after all. When she pulled back from the kiss, she said, "I never felt like this about anypony else either. You're amazing, you know that?"

Applejack smiled, loosening her hug just a little bit. "Yup, I know. An' you're the only pony amazin' enough to be a match fer me."

Rainbow gave a little laugh at that, and wiped the last of the tears from her eyes. Her heart felt about a million times lighter than it had only minutes ago.

"And," added Applejack, "When yer ready, I want very much to be yer first time. An' you can be mine. That's a promise."

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to see me talk about writing, my works in progress, other creative endeavors, and my life in general, check out [my Dreamwidth blog](https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/).


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